I'm reading Blue Like Jazz, Lord. It's the most different book on spirituality that I've ever read.
I know, I said that about The Shack, too. That book, to me, is a breathtaking story of forgiveness. That long, hard, road to forgiving others and forgiving ourselves. All because You have forgiven us and You woo us into intimacy with You.
In Blue Like Jazz Donald Miller says such profound, mystical, spiritual truths in such earthy ways. Some of his thoughts shake up my neat little system of beliefs that I'm so comfortable with, Lord. I don't agree with everything he says. But the BIG things he says, the eternal truths he lays out...
Yes, his words are profound. The part about worship especially hit me today.
"We are too proud to feel awe and too fearful to feel terror," he says about us and You. He says we spend too much time trying to chart You on a grid, trying to fit You into our systems of theology. And too little time allowing our hearts to feel awe at You.
Lord, I don't want to minimize You to a chart, or squeeze You into a system. I don't want to reduce all that You are to some formula. Some equation that I can try to understand. I don't want to mentally suck the air out of You and fit you into one of those "Space Bags." I really don't want to slide You neatly under my bed so I can take You out, pull the plug, and re-inflate You whenever I need You.
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I am in awe of You. Awe that knocks me from standing on my beliefs to lying prostrate before You in the dirt from which I came. Awe that caused the children of Israel to run from Mt. Sinai and beg Moses to go talk to You and listen to You in their place. They knew they couldn't stand before You.
Awe and wonder at the works of Your hands and heart in the created world and inside people's lives. Wonder that You are so far beyond my anorexic explanations it's sometimes frightening.
Is this real worship, Lord?
Come, Little One. Worship. Bow down. Kneel before Me. Lie face down before My throne. Hush and listen to My heart beating for You.
I long for your worship.