Dear Lord, last night at church I was thinking about how MUCH I have changed over the past 39+ years. A huge goal in my life has been to become meek, quiet, calm, and gentle. I'm not there yet, I know. But looking back 39+ years I can see that I've been taking baby steps in that direction all along.
I shudder when I remember how dogmatic I was 20 or 30 years ago. How confident I was that what I believed was absolutely correct. And I'm not talking about the pillar doctrines of Christianity. I mean, I was so sure of those knitty-gritty little things I believed that every good Christian should do and not do. Boy! Did I have a lot to learn about what a "good" Christian is like. Thank you for gently, calmly, quietly, and meekly changing my judgmental and arrogant soul over these 39+ years.
25 or 35 years ago I was so defensive. I was way too stern and inflexible. Even with our own children. Oh, I wish I could redo those years when our sons were small. I'd be a much more gentle mom. I'd play with them more and lecture them less. I'd worry more about molding their hearts with love and tenderness and acceptance. I'd laugh with them a lot more and demand much less.
Thank you for applying the sandpaper of life to my rough edges, God. I can tell that my heart and my attitudes ARE smoother, softer, gentler than they were. Gentle Jesus, make me gentler every year. Make me more prone to empathy, to tears, to being wounded by those I love. Make my heart soft and pliable, Jesus, - like Yours. Make me gentle and tender - like You.
Just watch Me, Little Girl. Keep the eyes of your heart focused on Me. You have a picture of Me right there on your desk. Open it. Read it. Memorize it. Think about it all day long. Keep your little eyes on Me and you're bound to become like Me.