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Friday, January 18, 2008

Holding My Head Up


It's been a long night, God. I awoke at 3:30 again with another nightmare. That's a new experience for me. I don't recall having more than two or three disturbing dreams in my whole life. Now, two in a matter of a few nights. Calm my mind, Lord. Please give me the sleep I need. You know this body of mine doesn't function well without sleep.

For the remainder of the night a Bible verse kept running through my head: "Thou, O Lord, art a shield to me, my glory and the lifter up of my head." Our church choir sang that last Sunday. It's in Psalm 3:3. What does that mean, God?

You are my shield. I understand that part, Lord. Throughout my life you have shielded me thousands of times from evil, from pain, from danger, even from sin - from Satan's attempts to destroy my life, my family, my testimony. Perhaps in heaven you'll take an eon or two and tell me about those things you protected me from.

You are my glory. Paul said his only glory was the cross of Christ. I don't want any glory on this earth - really. I hate to admit it, Lord, but sometimes my pride rears its ugly head and clamors for some glory, some attention, a little appreciation. But that's not really what I want my life to be about. Keep reminding me, please, that my deepest "want" is for my life to reflect your glory.

The lifter up of my head. This one stumps me a little, Lord. I envision myself trapped in a tunnel or a basement slowly filling with water. Then along comes a tall, strong stranger who lifts me and holds my head above the water until help arrives and frees me. I guess I've been watching too many old movies, huh? But that's the way I see this phrase. When I get myself into deep trouble and I'm worn out from treading water, YOU come along and lift up my head and keep me afloat until help arrives or the water subsides. I know that's not exactly what the Psalmist meant when he penned it. But that's what it means in my life right now.

When I'm too weary to hold my own head up, you lift it up for me. When I've messed up and I'm too ashamed of myself to hold my head up, you forgive me, restore me, and hold my head up for me again. When I totally lack confidence in my abilities, you lift up my head so I can face whatever it is and do what you've called me to do. When trouble swirls around me and threatens to suck me under, you lift up my head and keep me afloat.

How can I ever thank you enough, God?


You're right, Little One. Just saying, "thank you" isn't enough. SHOW it. Live your day-to-day life as an expression of your gratitude to me.